| The Neighborhood Story
We moved to our new home in Blaine, WA, about three weeks before our second marriage. (we have now had three weddings...click here for our story and a better understanding of why that was necessary). Some of our neighbors were somewhat shocked to discover that their new next door neighbors were a lesbian couple. This discovery created some initial discomfort and fear, causing some to think, "What do we tell our kids?" Our suggestion then and now is, "Tell them we love one another."
Fear is a natural response to things situations/people that are different and that we don't understand. Acknowledging fear is the first step toward eradicating it. Submerging fear, and pretending it doesn't exist, doesn't solve anything.
Roby: The week after our wedding on July 31, 2004, I turned into our subdivision and immediately felt a sense of "something's wrong" as I drove into our neighborhood. I didn't see anything and nobody said anything, but I felt this palatable oppression. When I arrived home, I asked Dotti if she knew of anything that has happened. She said "no," as she had been working in her home office all day. I decided to call Shelly, one of the developers. When I questioned Shelly, she said, "I wish I didn't have to tell you this. I have been getting calls from some people about there being too much 'gay activity' in the neighborhood. There is talk of some people starting a petition." I felt frightened and even angry. Tears streaming down my cheeks, I screamed out to Dotti, "I thought we were moving into a welcoming neighborhood." Dotti took me by the shoulders, looked directly into my eyes and said, "This is a call for love, and I have a lot of love to give. If we meet their fear with our own fear, we will live in in a blind neighborhood. I didn't move here to live in a blind neighborhood." The next day, Dotti took time off from work, went to the store, and bought roses. She took them around to the various neighbors, and invited them to dinner the following Sunday evening. She got no affirming responses that day. She said, "Everyone has a different learning style. I will go back tomorrow and take a written invitation." Off she went, visiting the neighbors again the next day. At the bottom of the written invitation, it said, "How can we change the world if we don't know our neighbors?"
The next Sunday, our home was crawling with neighbors and their children. Our neighborhood has never been the same since. Now, people jump over one another's fences, mixed gender couples take care of the kids of same gender couples, and some even vacation together.
The situation in our neighborhood, and the shift we experienced with people as we chose to meet fear with love, was one of the catylsts for our journey, Gay Into Straight America. We thought, "If this can happen here, this can happen anywhere."
Our neighbors have shown us that we can all learn and grow together. Our neighborhood is just a microcosm of the bigger world. On every invitation to a neighborhood party at our home, we still write, "How can we change the world if we don't know our neighbors?" We adore all of our neighbors, and one special lady, Michelle Willougby, was on a radio show we hosted, sharing her story about us moving in the neighborhood, and the impact it had on the neighborhood.
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